Star Wars: Lethal Alliance

Got a boring game? No worries, slap a licensed character on it and you’re good.

The just signed up for GameFly.  I know, I’m late to the game, but I’m a survivor of the dot com era, so I’m reluctant to jump onto anything new.  Early adopters tend to get pwned in my opinion.  Sorry guys, you’re just paying to be a beta tester.

Anyhow, the first game I played was Star Wars: Lethal Alliance for the PSP.  I know there are only seven original ideas in all of existence, and everything else is just a rehash of these.  I get that, and I can deal with it.  What I am having troubles with is how every game right now is either a 3D platform redux of Mario Brothers, a first person shooter, an RTS, or some kind of mixture.  Is Nintendo the only one willing to take a risk and do something interesting?

My basic gripe is that for the most part, most games out there, especially for the PSP, are basically movie tie-ins, puzzle games, or JRPGs.  Now, granted, I grew up on Final Fantasy (non-emo lead character versions), so I can appreciate a good JRPG, and I enjoy seeing these on my PSP.  However, after I’ve played those, what else am I left with? There are games we wait for anxiously, but there are only five of these per console each year.  This number may tied over the average gamer, who lives, eats and breaths Gears of War, or World of Warcraft, but what if (god forbid) you’re not really down with these games?

Well my fiends, you’re left with boring games, that have your favorite characters or licenses slapped onto them.    Back to the initial topic, I played this game for a subway ride, and halfway through, I decided I’d rather watch the scenery than play the game.  Let me remind you, I ride the subway….

As far as gameplay goes, their Alliance system was kinda interesting, but basically, it’s just a way to facilitate mini-games, which is a whole other blog post (rant) in and of itself.  The story could have been interesting, if I decided to follow it beyond the first level.  Basically, you’re one of the many characters with checkered pasts who fell into the rebellion, some point between Episode III and IV. Which brings me to wonder if any Rebel besides Luke was squeaky clean, and just how much the Star Wars Expanded Universe deserves an R rating.

Back to the game…

Basically, you’re a thief who hates the Empire and Kyle Katarn in his Jedi Outcast bad-ass-ness, recruits you into the rebellion as a bad ass, lekku twitching, death machine.   Seriously, for a species known for being submissive dancing slave girls, or rancor meals in heels, Rhianna has a body count comparable to Rambo.  Yet she’s cute enough to high five her droid after taking out a battalion of Black Sun henchmen.  I’m curious to know more about her story, but I’m sure someone’s already put that up on Wikipedia, because she is a Star Wars character, and there’s probably five novels worth of back story for her.

But remember, I only played this game for an hour and change, before I decided that I should give it back to GameFly.  Why you ask? Well, personally, I think the Star Wars logo gave it a higher rating than it should have had.  Mainly, platform games bore me really quickly, because remember, I’m from the Nintendo generation.  There’s only so much hop, roll, duck, and shoot that I can take before I’m tearing what’s left of my hair out.  Thankfully, when I start finding that boring, the game switches pace, and has me use my droid to slingshot myself up walls, or gocart up walls to dodge traffic.  Seriously, this is a Star Wars game.  Why am I playing Frogger? And furthermore, if Black Sun and the Empire want to not be infiltrated by Rebel Scum, they need to shoot their architects.  Who designs ultra secret bases and military installations with little nodes that can obviously be used by Twi’lek rogues for infiltration?  That makes about as much sense as hiding secret hand holds on walls that can be used by heros.  Villains, i say to you, shoot your architects!

This post is going to be followed up by several related posts, because we honestly need to point things out like this, and dammit i need content!